Why Do Bad Guys Have So Much Sex Appeal?

A young handsome guy recently asked an interesting question on Facebook. It's one that has been asked several thousand times before. Nevertheless, I thought it would still make a good thought-provoking topic for one of my blogs.

Here's the question as I remember it:

"Why do women constantly complain about not being able to find a 'good man' but when they do find one they turn their back on him and chase the bad guy?"

Why do some of us do that ladies? I guess it's that old question with a million superficial answers. In my experience, it usually boils down to one of four things (see if you agree).

1) the romantic or explosive love-making that follows those tireless verbal fights;
2) the excitement (albeit subconscious) of those unpredictable passion/turbulent moments... the 'never-a-dull-moment' syndrome that keeps you going back for more;
3) the challenge of winning his love & affection over others;
4) the challenge being THE ONE who will have the power to change him!

Bullet point 2) does seem a little crazy but that's the nature of the female psyche. Of course, not all females think this way, but I am sure it is a significant percentage! Before everyone starts getting bent out of shape with some of these stereotypical generalizations (and I say that with a smile on my face ladies), remember the title of this blog is "Why do bad guys have so much sex appeal" not "Why do bad guys make good husbands" because we all know they definitely don't make good husbands!

If you have a strong opinion on this topic or if you are a BBS victim (the "bad boy syndrome") make sure you add a comment in the Comment box below.

I'm glad I got you thinking!

Remember, always make time for your daily threeLs!

Live, Love & Laugh!

"Carique"

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"GRANNIES-GONE-WILD"
ANSWERS TO SOME F.A.S.Qs WITH A LITTLE MAE WEST HUMOR

"We believe in telling it like it is"

This month's tip from GGW:

"Oh what the heck, buy yourself another pleasure toy for Christmas"

1. Q. I have been in the United States for 18 months studying "Communication & Journalism" and over that time have developed a fairly good understanding of American slang and colloquials. However, there is one that I just can't seem to figure out. What does "the biggow" mean... My friend told me it was a special kind of hotdog. She said it is so good it makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. Anyway, when I went to a restaurant with her a couple weeks later I got talking to the waiter (who was really cute by-the-way) I mentioned that I wanted to have a "biggow" because I had never had one before, both he and my friend looked at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter. I didn't get the joke but I laughed right along with them. Please tell me what a "biggow" really is!

A....Honey, I think you mean THE BIG "O"... It means a mind-blowing orgasm. Do you know what an ORGASM is honey? Its when you reach that point when your facial expression changes to that of a crazy animal; you start shaking violently; your eyes start spinning, you start foaming at the mouth... Do I need to go on hun?

2. Q. I think you had this question last month but you never really gave a clear answer so I am going to ask it again. What is a good age to start talking to your children about the 'birds and the bees'? I ask because out of the blue my 11 yr old daughter asked "what does sex feel like mom." I was shocked into complete silence for about 30 seconds but eventually came out with ... "it's relaxing sweetie." What should I have said?

A.... I can definitely understand your hesitation... You didn't want to glorify it to make her want to try it but at the same time you want to give an honest answer. Mama, you have to sit her down and explain about the birds and the bees as early as possible these days (in an age-appropriate way of course). I think they should know about the body parts at age 3 or 4 and the fact that it is referred to as their "private" for a reason. You should have a more in depth conversation to give them a basic understanding by the age of 8 (i.e. body changes, why boys and girls have different body parts etc). You should have definitely explained everything by the age of 14 so that they have a complete understanding of abstinence, sex, pregnancy, diseases and protection. Believe me hun, they start learning stuff from their peers from a very early age so put them on the right track from a young age. And remember, the schools also help out by showing them educational videos and encouraging classroom dialog. Having said all that, I think you gave a good answer mama but make sure you have a more in depth conversation with her real soon. Good job mama!

3. Q. I loved that joke you told us last month. I laughed for the whole week. I would love to hear another one of your PG rated jokes (I think the "X" rated ones may be more than I could handle)!!!

A...Glad you liked it hun. Here's another "PG" rated joke for you. By-the-way, for those of you who don't know a "PG or Family" rated joke simply means it's tastefully naughty (I think I'll start rating them "TN" jokes). You're right not to ask for one of my "X" rated jokes honey - they would CLOSE THIS SITE DOWN!

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

‘Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says, ’How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

’My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend, ’all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. 'How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

‘Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you scored an F in sex!

4. Q. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your suggestion to try a pleasure toy. I am 74 and a widow. Believe it or not even at 74 I am still a real 'horny chic' (okay, hen). I threw caution to the wind and decided to place one of those discreeeeeet orders. What can I say, I haven't stopped smiling since I started using it. By-the-way, I sometimes use it two or three times a day. Is that normal for someone my age?

A.... Of course its normal honey. I'm older than you hun and there's still plenty of life in my beat up old "Betty." Have you ever thought about becoming a COUGAR honey? I did it for a while a couple years back. It was great fun but I went through a whole heap of money. I'm just messing with you hun, you just keep having fun with your toys!


5. Q. I would like to see pictures of some of the other grannies who have gone wild. Is it possible to post some of their pictures too? Please don't get me wrong, I love looking at your picture but I am curious about the other grannies.

A... I am so glad you asked that question honey. I have been trying to get them to pose in their "wrinkle suit" for the longest. I'll see what I can do but please don't hold your breath honey.

Grannies-Gone-Wild (GGW)

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The information contained in this blog is based on personal experiences, observations, opinions and in some cases personal research. If you have any medical, sexual, marital or emotional concerns please make sure you consult a medical professional or trained counselor.

"Carique"

"Turn off the lights Baby"

Are these the last five words you whisper to your honey before you get busy between the sheets?

They used to be my last five words. Why? Extra poundage! Yes, extra poundage can sometimes inhibit your performance in the bedroom? You know it's superficial but you obsess about it anyway. You long to become that contortionist your partner fantasizes about every night or that dominatrix that takes total control. But unfortunately, those erotic thoughts are quickly abandoned once you start visualizing yourself from all those crazy contorted angles... oooohh, not a pretty sight (in your eyes anyway). What's my take on all this? I think many of us are probably WAY TOO HARD on ourselves. We need to remind ourselves that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and it starts with self-acceptance!

Over the years, I have heard sooooo many men say "there is nothing more sexy than a woman who is confident, spontaneous and totally comfortable with her body." Whether she's morbidly obese, looks anorexic, has wrinkles within her wrinkles, is overly cellulitic ... it really doesn't matter - a confident uninhibited woman is a big turn-on! Okay, I confess, I made up a new adjective for cellulite 'cellulitic'... lol. Being confident and totally uninhibited in the bedroom is not an easy fete when you are not comfortable with your body and/or disconnected with your sensuality. It shouldn't matter that your partner never tells you that he loves and accepts those spare tires, love handles, comfort cushions or whatever words you use to describe them because in life's big picture the only thing that really matters is the love and acceptance you have of yourself.

If you don't know how to shake off those 'body image' inhibitions here's my suggestion; take off all your clothes and look at your naked body in the mirror until you are able to love and accept your uniqueness. Only then will you experience that burning desire to unleash that WILD CAT that's been laying dormant for so long and the confidence to finally say LEAVE THE LIGHTS *ON* BABY!!!

Make time for your daily threeLs!

Live, Love & Laugh

"Carique"

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"GRANNIES-GONE-WILD"

ANSWERS TO SOME F.A.S.Qs WITH A LITTLE MAE WEST HUMOR

"We believe in telling it like it is"

This month's tip from GGW

"Treat yourself to at least one pleasure toy this month, I promise you won't regret it"

Q1.... I am a middle-aged woman who has been happily married for almost 30 years. I live in a beautiful 5 bedroom house in a beautiful part of the country, with the perfect little husband and 2 beautiful daughters who no longer live at home. However, I have recently developed this insatiable urge to have a wild night of passion with a black man. I have had several opportunities since joining my local gym and its becoming harder and harder to say no. Should I just have a one-night-stand to get it out of my system (my husband need never know)?

GGW Answer...Firstly, I don't think one night would get it out of your system, you would end up going back for more honey! Let me ask you this, why the sudden urge? I suspect its more than just those recent invitations by the chocolate hunks at the gym? Sounds like that 'kids meal' you have been getting is not filling you up and you want to 'super-size' it or maybe you just want to see if what they say about black men is true? Which one is it honey? I can definitely understand your curiosity, but why throw away 30 years of a good marriage for *3 hrs* of pleasure (yes 3 hrs honey - what they say about black men is definitely true, trust me). My suggestion to you is to just close your eyes and fantasize whenever you and your husband do the horizontal-houchee-couchee; don't betray the love and trust you have built over the past 30 years. A one-night fling would definitely jeopardize your marriage even if your husband never found out about it. I hope you make the right decision. Good luck hun!

Q2... I need your advice. My 7 yr old son thinks my husband (his stepfather) is hitting me because he hears me screaming out every night (I just can't seem to control myself). I tried telling him it was the television; that worked for a while but I don't think he believes that anymore. Should we sit him down and tell him about the 'birds and the bees' at such a young age?

GGW Answer... I was going to advise you to tell him that you and daddy like to play adult games at night but that may not be a good idea, he may ask if he can play too. Just tell him you've been having some real bad dreams lately, see if that works. Sorry honey, I don't really have a solution for your problem I'm still stuck on the fact that he has you screaming out every night. You have been truly blessed honey!

Q3.... I don't really have problem, I just wanted to say I think you're great and would like to ask one silly question. What is the wildest fetish you have ever encountered?

GGW Answer.... No question is ever silly honey and thank you for the compliment. Now to answer your fetish question: A "c-------- g-- s------" was the wildest fetish I ever encountered! I guess it wouldn't be considered wild nowadays but it certainly was 50 years ago when I was first introduced to it. Clue: the smell was so darn awful it was hard to 'crack' a smile. I'm going to let you ponder on that for a moment honey (I am confident you'll figure it out).

Q4... With your many years of experience, can you tell me what makes a woman sexy (apart from skimpy clothing of course)? I'm 22 and everyone tells me I'm pretty but I have never had a relationship that lasted longer than three months. My friends tell me it's because I have absolutely no sex appeal. They've tried showing me how to walk and talk flirtatiously when I'm around men. The problem is, I always feel so goofy, awkward and fony when I TRY to be sexy. Shouldn't it be effortless and natural? I desperately want a long-term relationship possibly marriage. Can you please please help me?

GGW Answer...Of course I can help you honey. Let me first ask you a question. Are you giving "it" up or are you still a virgin? The reason for your short-term relationships could be in the answer to that question! If you're not willing to give it up and they're not willing to wait, let 'em go honey. Anyway back to your original question. From my experience (and believe me I have a lot of it), the biggest turn on for most heterosexual men is a confident woman - a woman who is totally comfortable with her body, her sensuality and who has no teeth...just kidding 'bout the teeth honey (the more experienced ladies will get the joke). Don't listen to your friends. Forget about trying to walk and talk sexy, just be yourself. Try to maintain a positive attitude at all times, exude confidence and have some good old flirty fun whenever the opportunity presents itself. Hope that helped hun.

Q5. I love the GGW FASQs. You always give great advice and I really enjoy your Mae West sense of humor. Do you have any good jokes or bedroom mishaps you could share?

GGW Answer.... Thank you for the wonderful compliment honey. I have hundreds of jokes but no bedroom mishaps. I'll share a short family joke with you. Here goes:

"For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joseph told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be darned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!"

Did you like that one honey?

Grannies-Gone-Wild (GGW)

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The information contained in this blog is based on personal experiences, observations, opinions and in some cases personal research. If you have any medical, sexual, marital or emotional concerns please make sure you consult a medical professional or trained counselor.

"Carique"

Bringing Back the Romance

Are you currently in a loving monogamous relationship that has lost the romance? If you are, then first take a moment to decide what is needed to put the spark back into the relationship. Of course your romantic crusade will only succeed if you and your partner are on the same page, so let him know how you feel and find out how he feels. If communication is good between the two of you, rekindling the romance will be easy. On the other hand, if getting his attention is like pulling teeth or if you feel totally clueless when it comes to addressing your romantic needs, I suggest you follow or tweak these four very basic steps:

1. Don't Procrastinate, Communicate: As I indicated in my introduction, good communication should always be at the top of the list. Don't play mind games with your partner. Let him know how you feel. If communication is a problem in your relationship, timing and word choice is going to be key. However, you shouldn't make the mistake of assuming good communication is simply using the right words at the right time - it's a lot more than that. Make him the focus of your attention will you are talking to him, don't allow yourself to be distracted by anything going on around you. Try using soothing and relaxing gestures like gently stroking his back or his arm while you talk to him. If possible, choose a room with good ambiance and a soft sensual aroma (scented candles, soft music and dimmed lights always work well). Make yourself look 'good' from head to toe (at the very least, presentable). It's not always necessary to dress provocatively; your sexiness will automatically shine through if you set the right mood (remember, we are simply talking romance here, nothing else). Paying attention to all these little details will make him more receptive to what you have to say - it is imperative that you set the right mood if you want to get his undivided attention. Once you have done that, he will be ready to soak up everything you have to say. Tell him how you feel the relationship could be spiced up but don't overload him with too much detail; most men switch off when it comes to a lot of details. Find out what he finds romantic. Once you are both in agreement on how to put the romance back into the relationship, you can move on to the next step.

2. Set a Date, Mark your Calendar: Schedule your 'romantic' date and make it a regular event. You may decide on a certain time every day, every week or once a month, whatever works for the two of you. The key will be sticking to it. Mark it on your calendar if you have a hectic schedule or if you think you may forget. If you are married with children you will definitely need to mark it on your calendar. Get a babysitter if necessary (don't take the kids)!

3. Going on Your Romantic Date: Dress to impress. Keep the conversation positive, enlightening, stimulating and humorous - no serious or depressing stuff, save those topics for another occasion. Laugh, have fun, marvel in each others company! Allow yourself to revisit those feelings of excitement you experienced when you first started dating.

4. Maintaining the Romance: Now that you've rekindled the romance, don't lose it! Fill the days before and after the big date with walks in the park (make sure you hold hands throughout the walk); exchange hand-written notes expressing your love, gratitude and/or appreciation of each other (one sentence is fine); dim the lights at dinner every once-in-a-while (or use candles); cuddle up together on the sofa and share your thoughts & dreams for the future, enjoy a movie together... the list is endless. The basic message is to keep doing the 'simple things' to keep the romance alive. Do them on a regular basis. They will bring enormous pleasure to you and your partner and they don't have to cost you a penny.

Remember to always make time for your daily threeLs!

Live, Love, Laugh!

"Carique"



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"GRANNIES-GONE-WILD"

ANSWERS TO SOME F.A.S.Qs WITH A LITTLE MAE WEST HUMOR

"We believe in telling it like it is"

This month's tip from GGW

Gravity changes from friend to foe as soon as you hit 40.
Don't expect any support, 'coz it will leave you hanging every time!

1. Q. What age does a woman start losing her sexual desires?

GGW. I have no idea honey, you'll have to ask someone a whole lot older than me.

2. Q. I just found out that men sometimes 'fake it' too, is that true?

GGW. Of course they do honey, especially when their equipment malfunctions.

3. Q. My boyfriend recently confessed that he likes to snort crack but he said it wasn't a drug addiction, it was a sexual fetish. What exactly do you think he's trying to tell me?

GGW. Take a moment to think about it honey, you'll eventually work it out!!!

4. Q. I am 7 months pregnant. Is it safe to still be having sex and if so, what is the safest position?

GGW. Honey, you're 7 months pregnant, don't you think it's a little late to be asking about SAFE SEX!!! I'm just kidding hun. It's safe to have sex as long as (1) you have an uncomplicated pregnancy and (2) your partner doesn't climb on top of you and try to ride you like a wild bull in a rodeo. BUT my best advice is to always check with your ObGyn before you do anything honey.

5. Q. I'm not attracted to my husband anymore. In fact, I know this is an awful thing to say but he actually repulses me. I find myself constantly making excuses just to avoid going to bed at the same time as him. When we find ourselves crawling into bed at the same time, I inevitably tell him I have a headache, an upset stomach, on my period or fall asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. It's been over six months since we were intimate and I'm running out of excuses. How can I tell him how I really feel without hurting his feelings? What should I say?

GGW. Wow, you've got a long hard one honey. No, don't tell him that, that's what I'm telling you hun. I mean you have a long question and it's a hard one to answer. Mmmm... Why don't you discreetly make a list of all the things that make him undesirable to you. Highlight the ones that you feel are 'fixable' (hopefully most of them will be fixable). Then take a moment to work out a diplomatic way to share your feelings with him. Sorry hun, I can't choose the words for you. When you decide on the right words to use, plan a romantic evening just for the two of you. Dine out or go for a nice long walk or something and when the time is right, lay it on him honey!!! If, on the other hand, there's nothing on your list that is fixable, then your marriage is in serious trouble honey and my best advice would be marriage counseling. Hope that helped hun!

Grannies-Gone-Wild (GGW)

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The information contained in this blog is based on personal experiences, observations, opinions and in some cases personal research. If you have any medical, sexual, marital or emotional concerns please make sure you consult a medical professional or trained counselor.

"Carique"